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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628198">Said and Done</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludwiggle73/pseuds/Ludwiggle73'>Ludwiggle73</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Coming Out, Established Relationship, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:26:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ludwiggle73/pseuds/Ludwiggle73</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilbert wants to be brave. Matthew does it for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Canada/Prussia (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Said and Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy pride xo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gilbert has never had a problem with procrastination.</p><p>Until now.</p><p>He’s never been a deceitful person—at least, never on purpose. Nearly all the lies he’s told, especially the ones to himself, should be attributed to ignorance rather than malice. He had full intentions of keeping things above board this time, after the disaster of his last relationship. And he has every reason to believe Matthew has been nothing but transparent with him. So why can’t he just be honest?</p><p>It’s been a comedy of errors, really, a movie montage brought to life. He’s been interrupted, distracted, even shocked into silence. That’s what happened last time: the moment he said he wanted to talk, Matthew teared up and had to be soothed with a hug. <em> I’m sorry. You can break up with me if you want to. I always do this, don’t take it personally. </em> Gilbert’s heart had fractured in three places and he’d wound up saying, <em> That’s what I wanted to talk about. I don’t want to break up with you. Ever. I love you. </em></p><p>Which was true, and still is, but that’s beside the point.</p><p>Francis and Antonio were both shocked when he admitted he was keeping Matthew in the dark. <em> You have to tell him, mon ami. You can’t go on without knowing what he thinks. </em> Antonio had shaken his head. <em> He’s gonna find out eventually. I would just get it over with if I was you, Gil. </em></p><p>He’s tried. He’s trying right now. The whole point of having their date night at Gilbert’s apartment was so he could start an intimate, private conversation. A heart-to-heart.</p><p>They didn’t even make it to the end of their rom-com before Matthew smiled up at him. What was Gilbert supposed to do, <em> not </em> kiss his boyfriend?</p><p>So that’s where they are now, splayed on the couch, moaning softly into each other’s mouths, Matthew so warm and so right under him. All of his body feels perfect, from his wispy curls to the belly he’s forgotten to suck in to his thighs in those illegally fleecy sweatpants to the polka-dot-socked foot hooked around Gilbert’s calf. And his hands, with their pudgy wrists and pink palms and the tiny scar on his thumb from a skating accident, are driving Gilbert crazy. One of them is at the back of his neck, fingertips in his hair, and the other is making its slow way down his back. Gilbert pauses for a second of breath, catches the naughty glint in Matthew’s eyes. Gilbert kisses him hard, smirking into it when he feels Matthew’s fingers reach his belt. <em> Is he gonna squeeze my ass? </em>That’s new.</p><p>Matthew’s hand follows Gilbert’s belt inward, to the buckle.</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>This is also new.</p><p>Gilbert can’t stop himself from stiffening. Matthew’s kiss goes gentle, reassuring, and his other hand strokes through Gilbert’s hair. <em> That’s nice. This is nice. </em>When Matthew spreads his fingers over Gilbert’s abdomen instead, he relaxes—aside from his abs, of course. They’ve never had a real discussion about boundaries, because they’ve never needed to. Neither of them have had a wide variety of past partners. Matthew was so quiet on the first date, Gilbert couldn’t believe when he texted him afterward. Even now that they’re in a relationship, they’ve only kissed with this much contact a few times.</p><p>Matthew probably assumes Gilbert is shy, or old-fashioned, or afraid of hurting him. Gilbert wishes it could be that simple. <em> After we finish making out</em>, he thinks, <em> I’m telling him. But what if the movie’s not over then? He might want to see the end. Okay, after the movie. But what about dinner? It’s only Kraft Dinner, but he loves Kraft Dinner. He could leave me tonight and never be able to eat it again. I can’t taint the good name of Kraft Dinner. So maybe I should just wait until— </em></p><p>Matthew slips his hand between Gilbert’s legs.</p><p>He reels back so fast he thumps to the floor.</p><p>“Sorry!” Matthew sits up, shrinks as far into the corner of the couch as he can. “I’m sorry. I thought maybe you were . . .”</p><p>Gilbert perches on the edge, thighs squeezed together even tighter than Matthew’s. “No, it was my fault, I overreacted. I just wasn’t expecting . . .”</p><p>“Right.” Matthew’s cheeks redden. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t apologize.” Gilbert tries for a smile. “Do you wanna keep going?”</p><p>Matthew studies him a moment, then nods with a small smile of his own. Gilbert cups his face in his hands—oh, he loves these cheeks, even warmer than normal from his blush—and kisses him again. They lean back against the cushions as one; Gilbert chuckles when he feels the tiniest nip to his lower lip. So maybe his Matthew isn’t quite as hesitant as Gilbert originally thought. Still, at least he knows when to—</p><p>Matthew’s fingers tickle his thighs. Gilbert grabs his wrist without even thinking; he glimpses wide violet eyes in a flash and releases him immediately.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Gilbert says, breathless. His heart pounds in his ears. “Did I hurt you?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine.” Matthew is watching him with such close concern, Gilbert can’t bear to look at him. “Are you?”</p><p>“Yeah. I just . . .” Gilbert shakes his head. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. <em> You’re ruining this. </em></p><p>“I thought this was what you meant by <em> keep going</em>,” Matthew says quietly. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Stop apologizing.” Gilbert stares at his lap. “It’s my fault.”</p><p>Matthew is silent so long Gilbert has to glance up. He doesn’t gawk, but he can see: what they’ve been doing has left a visible effect on him, one it takes no investigation to see Gilbert lacks. Matthew isn’t tearing up, but his voice has the rasp of incoming sobs. “Am I doing something wrong?”</p><p>“Oh, God, no.” Gilbert tucks golden curls behind Matthew’s ears, desperation thinning his voice. “No. Of course not. Don’t ever think that, sweetheart.”</p><p>Matthew’s eyes, so bright, search his face. “Then I don’t understand.”</p><p>
  <em> Just tell him. You coward. You idiot. Just say it. </em>
</p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” he says instead. “You’re perfect. I . . . I want to. So bad. But I’m . . . I’m not . . .”</p><p>
  <em> I’m not brave enough for this. </em>
</p><p>Matthew watches him and, somehow, the fear and sorrow fade from his gaze. He takes Gilbert’s hands in his own. “Do you want to tell me?”</p><p><em> No. Yes. </em>He nods, pained.</p><p>“Can I guess what it is? Would that make it easier?”</p><p>
  <em> Please, let me keep this boy. If nothing else works out, just please, this one. </em>
</p><p>Gilbert nods, speechless.</p><p>Matthew strokes a callus on Gilbert’s palm with his thumb. “Are you secretly straight?”</p><p>He almost smiles. “No.”</p><p>“Is it . . . a medical thing?”</p><p>Technically yes, but he knows what Matthew means. “No.”</p><p>Matthew presses his lips together thoughtfully. “Are you ace?”</p><p>It actually takes him a moment to remember what that’s short for. “No.”</p><p>“Hmm. Are you trans?”</p><p>Gilbert’s heart skips a beat.</p><p>He didn’t even think Matthew would guess it; all the dread he should’ve been building stacks up at once, crushing him. He can barely breathe under it. He thinks he might’ve cried, before, but the shots have made that a lot rarer. He can’t say anything, can barely even nod. He feels hot and numb. Is he going to pass out?</p><p>Matthew is hugging him. It’s been happening for a while. He can feel his steady breaths, can feel his own slowly deepening to match. Matthew is smoothing a hand up and down his back, like Gilbert used to do to Ludwig when he had a bad dream. <em> It’s okay. </em></p><p>“Gil,” Matthew says. “I’ve already said I love you. It’s gonna be really hard to make me change my mind.”</p><p>He has to run the words through a few times before they process. He loves him. He’s not leaving. It’s okay.</p><p>Gilbert turns his head to nuzzle into Matthew’s curls, breathes in the maple and vanilla of him. “I don’t deserve you.”</p><p>“Oh, shush.” Matthew kisses his neck, then his cheek. “Why were you afraid to tell me?”</p><p>“Because I like you too much,” Gilbert says, the only answer that makes sense to his still-fluttering heart. “I was gonna tell you, I promise, I kept meaning to, I know I should’ve done it first thing, but . . . I just.” He shrugs, helpless. “I didn’t want to lose you.”</p><p>Matthew nudges his shoulder against Gilbert’s. “I know I’m super duper intimidating and all, but please don’t be afraid of me, Gil.” His smile pokes two playful dimples. “And besides. Give me some credit. My generation’s a lot more open-minded than yours.”</p><p>“Listen, you—” Gilbert pushes him back, pins him down, fights a grin when Matthew giggles. “I’m only four years older, you little brat.”</p><p>Matthew pouts, eyes sparkling up at him. “Now I’m a brat?”</p><p>“No,” Gilbert says, because there will be no more secrets. “You’re an angel.”</p><p>He waits just long enough to see the love in Matthew’s eyes before he kisses him again. <em> There</em>, he thinks as they melt into each other and the credits roll, <em> now there’s only one more left. </em>He still has to tell Matthew about the ring, after all. </p><p>Something tells him he won’t leave it to the last minute this time.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>
  <em> The End. </em>
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